Notes From a Dog’s Diary and and Notes From a Cat’s Diary

This has been going around the web for quite some time. I think it is brilliant. However, I have no idea who initially put this on the web or if it was copied from a magazine or a book. For now this entry, which was sent to me by a friend, will just say author un-known. If anyone out there knows the name of the author please make a comment with the info and place it with this post.  And I will give credit where credit is due!!!!   

 Thanks, Yvonne               

 Excerpts From a  Cat’s Diary 

Day 983 of my captivity….

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has  to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

Excerpts From a Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

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17 thoughts on “Notes From a Dog’s Diary and and Notes From a Cat’s Diary

  1. gita4elamats says:

    😆 I often wonder what exactly Tara is thinking. 😆

    • <emHi there, Ela. I too often wonder about our pets and how they might think. I loved that little ditty about the dog and cat diary. My daughter sent that to me in 2010 or 2011 and asked me to post that on her web site when I was writing the blog part. I am so glad to get a comment on that old post. Almost no one has ever read that one. I think that it is quite funny. 🙂

      • gita4elamats says:

        It is funny! 😆

        • The writing about the cat is the funniest. But I love how laid back the dog is in his activities which are all favorite things. 🙂

        • gita4elamats says:

          Don’t upset the cat – ‘Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.’

        • *Ha, ha, ha. Yes that is so true. I have been tripped by a passle of cats and fell forward down to a concrete floor in my “cat house.” Several ran in front of me as I was carrying a water bucket. It’s a good thing that I am not a big person and light on my feet. I broke my fall with my right hand and hurt my wrist and left knee but those parts of me were soon okay.

        • gita4elamats says:

          We were at the beach last weekend, Tara was on a leash and suddenly took off, pulling me down – I fell on a small rock and still have pain in several parts of my body. She’s fine, she run to where Mats was sitting and he grabbed her when I yelled out to him. 😆

        • I’m so sorry that you fell becasue of Tara. Yes they can be quite strong and Muddy my big lab tripped me when he was a puppy just under one year old.

          I reckon from now on that you will be cautious when you are out and away from home. It’s a good thing that she is attached to ya’ll and that she ran to yous husband. Take care of your pain. Soak in a warm epsom salts bath. Take tylenlol or motrin. If pain is to bad then see your MD. 🙂

        • gita4elamats says:

          Serves me right for not taking more care, pain decreasing daily. 😆

        • Then that is good. 🙂

  2. I appreciate your answer, thank you. We have no coyotes over here, the danger might come from lynxes up in the Alps (or even wolfes who have come back to our area from Eastern Europe). We have strict rules, dogs are not allowed to run after deers and my Ninio chase them for hours sometimes. The forest ranger warned me. Now I keep him on a long leash. I will certainly read your post about Keeping your pet safe from Predators.

    • At the time, I answered your comment I had no idea that you lived in Switzerland. Such a wonderful place. No wonder your blog is so beautiful. I am glad that you are keeping your little beagle safe on a long lead. This way you he should live to be an old dog

  3. Funny but not only… it makes you think a lot of how our pets look at us ! I have a dog too, a Beagle, always close to me inside the house but “living his own life” in the woods which does cause some problems. I used to have a lovely cat too, a totally different character, I loved him very much too. Don’t we learn so much from our pets ? Your blog is very interesting and I love the story about your beautiful Border Collie. So happy you two have met 🙂

    • Thank you for visiting my blog. I appreciate that a lot. IS your Beagle safe in the woods. Coyotes could pick up a beagle easily and you would never know what happened to him. Please keep youu dog safe. Read my post about Keeping your pet safe from Predators. It was posted a few days ago.

    • Thank you for commenting. I really hope that I an able to inform , entertain, and teach through my little ole blog.

      I did not do a foot note on Rocket. I started to but then I thought I would do a post about renal failure and use Rocket as an example. He was euthanized in June of this year. I kept him alive for about 8 months after he went into kidney (renal) failure. Used sub cutaneous fluids and gave vit b12 and b complex sub cu to keep his appetite and energy level up. He was only down for 2 days but had been severely declining for about 5 days. I miss him a lot but I have other dogs which help soften my grief.

  4. I have read that before too. But I don’t know where it originates.

    The sardonic wit of a cat versus the bonhomie of a dog… from this alone I should prefer cats, but i don’t!

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